When fear gets in your way
This week I’ve found myself coming up against a few hurdles. I’ve got frustrated and annoyed that I’m not making the progress on the new projects that I have on my plan. As a high achieving, recovering perfectionist, a lack of tangible delivery at the end of each day can be hard to take.
I have found myself saying, I haven’t got time. If I had more time, I would've done this. If I had more time, I could have that. I blamed my lack of success on the fact that there are only 168 hours in the week.
I’ve also blamed others. That person has wasted my time. If only person X would help me more, then I’d have more time. I was rude to someone too. I felt bad.
I’ve also blamed technology. There wasn’t enough battery on my iPhone to write the notes I needed to.
I’ve also blamed the chocolate chip cookie I ate for making me feel sluggish and not creative and productive.
I’ve also blamed the fact that I am spending time worrying about having no time on why I’ve been unproductive.
I’ve also blamed myself for having too many ideas and not being able to decide which project to work on first.
I found a lot of excuses. All which felt really valid.
The truth is, this is procrastination.
The excuses are all procrastination in disguise.
I’ve realised today, after having a great call with my amazing life coach (yes, coaches all have coaches too), that behind my “got no time” excuse was a load of hidden fear.
Fear of being exposed. Fear of being imperfect. Fear of being judged. Fear of getting it wrong.
This fear has stopped me doing anything on my new projects.
The fear is in disguise. Behind the cloak of time and other excuses.
I have been avoiding sitting down and getting moving. I created excuses.
Now I’ve exposed that fear and I’m fighting back. Here I am. Hello everyone. Kiss Kiss 😘. Welcome to the party.
We’ve all got this stuff, hidden behind cloaks at the fancy dress party of excuses...singing the lyrics to well-known songs...
“I don’t have time”,
“I don’t have the money”,
“I haven’t got the skills”,
“maybe one day, but not just yet”,
“la la la”
To move forward and grow our businesses, careers, families and lives, to create the life that will make us happy, we need to get real about our excuses and get out of our own way. I want to shout because this is important. So I will JUST GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!
I was seriously stuck this week. My coach held a mirror up to me and had me see what was behind my perceived blocks. I am now moving forward. I’m not going to be perfect. I will make mistakes. Not everyone is going to like everything I do. So what.
At least I’m moving.
This blog post isn’t going to win an award. That’s ok. This blog post probably won’t be featured on the huff post. That’s ok. If it helps even one person that reads it, it's done its job. And if not. That’s ok. I’m not waiting for perfection. I’m getting moving again.
Even though I work as a personal and business coach and can very easily hold the mirror up to my wonderful clients to help them break through their perceived blocks, it’s often bloody difficult doing it for yourself.
Sometimes everyone needs a neutral space to think this stuff through. That is what a coaching session does.
Just 30 mins on the phone, every few weeks. It’s simple. Yet life-changing.
Coaching rocks. I would not be where I am today if it hadn’t been for coaching. Every one should find a coach that suits them and try it out.
I’ve been working with my coach since 2012. In that time, I’ve landed great jobs, run amazing projects, quit the 9-5 and launched my own business. The coaching experience is super positive and action-focused, but it can sometimes get uncomfortable. You take that discomfort and fear and work on it one tiny step at a time. Over time, you really get somewhere. Where do you want to go? That really is the question.
I’ve said it before. And I’ll say it again. The name of my company, Slick Pivot is false advertising.
Pivots are not slick at all. That’s where the coaching comes in.
It makes it all that little bit easier and do-able. Breaking the big stuff down into small stuff so you can get moving too.
If you want to pivot your career or business but there is a fancy dress party of “fear in disguise” in your head, let’s chat. I’ve been there. I can help.
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Liz Ward is Founder and Coach at Slick Pivot. Slick Pivot helps new and seasoned entrepreneurs get good at change. Supporting your pivot journey through one to one coaching, bespoke team workshops, and events to help you find more happiness and growth in your work, whether that is quitting your 9-5, starting and growing that business or developing the right mindset for success.
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