Ten tips for dealing with a knock back at work
Have you noticed how some people experience work stress while others can just roll with it? Have you ever thought, why me?
Or, it’s not fair, how can everyone else do this sh*t and I’m just broken?
I know I have. I've been a right mess at times when you really care about something and you feel like you are pushing water up a big hill.
The people that can roll with this stuff are not superheroes.
They are just good at emotional resilience.
While it can be argued that some of it is biological, there are some traits you can learn to build your resilience.
Personally, I’ve got better at being more emotionally resilient over time.
Resilience is a skill to learn and practice.
Then practice, practice & practice some more. As Tom Hanks said,
“If it were easy, everyone would do it”.
(Yes, I know you can apply that quote to almost anything that's hard in life and that's why I like it!)
I use these tips all the time during the ups and downs of running my own business whilst balancing being a working mum. The times when I wobble, I've usually missed one of things below out.
Enjoy. And let me know what works for you.
Ten tips for dealing with a knock-back at work.
1. Let go of having all the answers
It's ok that you don't know anything. It's ok if you are not sure all the exact steps you need to take to move your challenge forward now you've had a knock.
Check back in with your overall goal and then stay open to the next steps. Treat everything as an experiment where you are gathering facts and feedback. The answers will start to come one by one.
2. Believe there is no failure only feedback
If you look at each experience along the way as an experiment, where you are gathering evidence, then take your knock-back and analyse it like a pro. What went well (something definitely did)? What can you learn? What would you do differently next time?
3. Don't let the basics slip
Get some sleep. Eat properly (at the right times) and exercise at least a little bit. Even if that's a short walk outside.
These basic self-care elements often slip when we are stressed. It's much harder to think clearly or get perspective when we are tired and hungry. Take a break. And treat yourself to a kit-Kat if you fancy one too.
4. Focus on what is working for you
Hone in on what is going well and what is actually working and do more of that. For example, if you have 3 types of the target customer and one type is responding well to what you are doing, put all your effort there.
By focusing more effort & energy here you'll be able to grow faster and stronger. This also applies to your skillset. Grow and enhance a skill you are already good at and it will be a lot easier.
5. Get Help
Don't pretend to know everything and battle quietly on your own. Explore who in your network could support and mentor you around your goal.
There could be a few people that form your support team. A different perspective on things can open up your thinking and accelerate your journey.
6. Give help
Resilient people believe in karma and being useful to others. When you do this, it can grow your confidence in your skills and give you the satisfaction that you are giving something back.
It can also help you build your reputation and credibility. Don't expect anything in return. Trust that by being positive and helpful it will come back to you in some way.
7. Watch your language
The words that come out of our mouths influence our desires and future actions.
Your subconscious mind is listening to everything you say, and when you use negative self talk such as "I can't", "I'll never", "I am rubbish at x", you are reinforcing that story into your future actions.
Your brain starts to believe your little story and you start to see it as the truth. In short, quit the negative talk.
8. Be a quitter
Resilient people know when the time is right to stop pursuing an idea.
After looking at all the feedback, sometimes it's clear that walking away from an idea is the best plan.
They have the self-awareness to recognise that an idea is not serving them or their business and let it go.
9. Get ready for the next step
Spend your energy looking forward. Now you know what you know from this blip, what can you do next?
What can you do differently? And what is the one tiny thing you'll experiment with first?
10. Free your mind
Find something else to do for a while. The more creative the better, to let your mind relax and express itself. I like to write in my journal, and get all the thoughts out.
Cooking and singing your head off to a really good tune can also do the trick. Drawing, painting, doodling, decorating… anything creative and different from the task in hand can have the same effect as a really good meditation.
Adopting these traits can help you to see a career blip or knock-back differently. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what else works for you.
Liz Ward is Founder and Coach at Slick Pivot. Slick Pivot helps new and seasoned entrepreneurs get good at change. Supporting your pivot journey through one to one coaching, bespoke team workshops, and events to help you find more happiness and growth in your work, whether that is quitting your 9-5, starting and growing that business or developing the right mindset for success.
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